*UPDATE* My main man Mark let me know it is a "Jerusalem cricket"
Sure funky lookin' buggers.

We Just found it crawling around in the window well.

It's like a giant ant/termite/spider . . . thing. . .

Marilou chopsticks the thing into a mason jar.

Are you my mommy?

Phew, good thing Marilou is so freaking tuff!